I want to stop using the word “busy” as a describer of my day or my state of being and I hope you can consider it as well. It’s become fascinating to me over the past few weeks as I’ve studied the use of this word. Typically, it comes after a friend asks me “how have you been lately?” and my generations (and maybe society at large) seems to instinctually respond with “well, I’ve been really busy.”  You’ve probably said it before, and I know I’ve used it a thousand times.

The perception (at least to me) is that there’s some unspoken rule that the goal of the human race is to be “busy”. But if you ask me, busy people don’t really change the world. The greatest influencers in my life (mentors, coaches, parents, etc) have always had an abundance of time for me; they care and seem to give freely of their lives and schedule. So why is it that we all the sudden want to become a people of busyness?

If I’m honest, I began using it to take the shortcut in relationships. If I had been traveling a good amount or been working very diligently on a number of projects that I didn’t think you would be interested in hearing, I would use this newly unspeakable phrase (“i’m busy”) as a way of not having to go into the details. Of course in hindsight, and as I type this, I laugh at the fact that I was intentionally dodging the opportunity to grow a relationship or build a friendship.

So I write today to begin to break down the walls of busy lives and figure out how to say things like “i’ve had a full schedule, let me tell you about it.” or “When did I see you last? I can’t wait to share all the things I’ve been able to be a part or work on in the past few weeks/months/seasons.” People who say “i’m busy” or “i’ve been busy” are people who are choosing to keep you out of a relationship because they have chosen the path of least resistance in an attempt of looking or being perceived as popular. They’ve chosen to chase perception of relational impact versus actual relationships.

People who say “i’m busy” or “i’ve been busy” are people who are choosing to keep you out of a relationship

Please don’t feel like I’m trying to throw others under the bus, I’m the first to admit that I have a problem. It’s me who has cheated you out of a relationship and it’s me who decided you have no interest in the things I’ve been working on. So the next time I say “I’m Busy” remind me that I’ve just cheated you.